Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
