New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
