508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize