When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
