I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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