I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
honey bunches of taint.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
