I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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