rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
