If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
