I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize