Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
