community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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