nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
