Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
