I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
