i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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