Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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