Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
