Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
