question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
