Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
