none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize