I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
