i jhust puked up my retainher.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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