You can't special order awesome
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
