The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Michael Bay diarrhea
what day is it and did you see me today?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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