the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
