you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
