okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
