I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
