What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
True strength comes from lack of pants
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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