I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
