apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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