we have officially lost it.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
