Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
