Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
