I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
