That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
