One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I party with great urgency now.
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