it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
