Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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