She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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