So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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