Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
