Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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