In America we eat man semen.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
