I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
