Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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