Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
