She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize