you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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