I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
