And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
