I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
