That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Did I show you my penis last night?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
