My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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