So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
