It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
