They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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