So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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