tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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