It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
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