there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Did I show you my penis last night?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
